Wingman

So, it seems lately, that I'm having to learn to rely on other people to help me be the mom that I need and want to be. Yesterday was a perfect example of what I meant. Kenny is out of town, and he's my usual 'help' on Mondays. However, it's hard to do much from Missouri, so I had to find other options. During my morning classes, all the kids are in school, so I'm covered. It's after school that things just sort of went berserk. At 3:45, Kale has swimming lessons. Meanwhile, I realized (only late Sunday night) that I have a 4:00 class on Mondays. Yikes!!!!!! So, I called our friend Paula whose son Sam is in swim lessons at the same time, and asked her if she could be responsible for Kale during swim lessons. Then, I called our friends (recently-married college students) Branden and Sophia to see if Abby and Archie could stay with them during the 4-5 hour. So, I drop everyone off at their respective places and drove to my class, where I had a major presentation due. Gulp! Presentation went fine. Raced back to pick them up. All of them. Collectively. Then, we booked over to soccer practice, from 6-7. Stopped by Subway on the way home for sandwiches. Hey, it's better than french fries, right? Got home. Gulped food down. Put kids in bath. Then, our new babysitter Janice came over because I had a Delta Gamma Rho meeting to go to. Marvin, my father-in-law also came over, because I thought Janice wasn't coming on time. Thankfully, she showed up early. Unfortunately, that meant that Marvin drove over for nothing. So sorry, Marvin!! I go to the meeting, come home, chat with Janice, and then crash into bed. This morning, our friend Wendi Mathews came by to pick up Archie because I have lab. Then, tonight, our friend Ryan is watching Abby and Archie, while Marvin takes Kale to cub scouts. I'm going to a girls' night out at Doc's. Yeah! Anyways, that's beside the point. The point is, I'm SO grateful to have so many wonderful friends and family who are willing to help me get done what I need to get done. I feel so very supported and loved. And really, really blessed.

*Note: These two days are not representative of our normal life. They just were crazy days. And no, I'm not trying to run my in-laws ragged!!

Talk to you soon!

The weekend

The weekend...

That's a strange, elusive creature at our house. Sure, we do experience days called Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, but I'm not sure I know what a leisurely weekend is. Is that a real thing? It seems like in my vague memory I can picture something like a fun game we called football on tv, while friends (who I can't picture) came over and we ate nachos with yummy crock-pot cheese sauce. But was that all a figment of my imagination? I'm really not sure.

Today is actually a weekend. For the first time in a long time, Kenny and I are going on a date. We're actually eating out twice, just to make up for lost time. We're going to our favorite place in Little Rock, The Flying Burrito, and then to the Delta Gamma Rho function, and then to Outback! Lots of food! That sounds like a weekend, doesn't it?!

I'm not sure why we've had "weekend issues" for this entire schoolyear so far. Kale and Abby are both playing soccer, and I haven't been to a game yet! This is extremely sad to me. Today is no different. I've got long-lost college friends coming over for breakfast. (Well, I see one of them regularly. The other lives in Wisconsin. Who lives in Wisconsin?!) Anyways, so the only time we could get together was this morning. Bummer. But I'm really excited to see them! However, it means missing Abby's game. Next week, however, I SHOULD be able to go! Go Green Team Go!! Kale is red, but he's far less excited about it than Abby is.

Well, I must go. It's time for my weekend to start. I hope you all have a weekend too! Talk to you soon!

Birthday Fever

So, Abby and Archie have both had their birthdays recently, and with said birthdays comes a certain squiggly little monster aptly named "Birthday Party." Last Saturday, Abby had her party. I let her invite about 8 friends and a couple of our college kids over for her party. I asked each girl to wear her favorite apron, and the girls made pizzas on English muffins and decorated their own cupcakes. It was very low-key. Today, since Archie also had a birthday but had not yet had a party, I decided to have a small extended family party. So, per Abby's request (for Archie), we had green birthday cake with green frosting. Yummo. It, too, was low-key and really sweet. Then, I rushed Kale over to a friend's house for his birthday party, while Kenny and the kids and I went to yet another house for a first-birthday party. All of this got me thinking...

What is the big deal about birthdays, anyways? What would be lost if we simply didn't keep track of them? I only ask this because my eyes have been opened lately to the reality that America (particularly Searcy, Arkansas, America) has the birthday party craze. Moms here will go to any extreme to have the perfect party. No matter the cost. I endured a conversation somewhere just on Friday with a mom who told me about taking her daughter for a manicure, pedicure, and massage for her birthday. One party Abby went to was held at the Rose Room at Ann's Briday. Complete with photographer (with a paid-for 5x7 photo for each girl), professionally-printed invitations, and real-live Disney princesses! Today, the party Kale went to was set up as a fair with castle bouncy, miniature golf, and a cotton candy machine! He brought home about 4 inflatable hammers (about 3 feet long) and one weird stuffed dog (whose head spins) just like you would win at the fair!No pressure, right?! No.

I am going to buck the system. And I'm asking you, the other parents and parents-to-be who read this blog to do the same. It is such a waste to spend all that money on a day to celebrate a day which otherwise holds no great importance. There are people in Africa who have NO IDEA how old they are, and I'm quite certain they are, in fact, alive anyway. I'm not saying that birthday parties are, you know, bad in an of themselves. It's just that I've come to believe that many of the birthday parties I go to are really not about birthdays. They are an excuse for overly zealous moms to try to impress all the other moms so that those moms will want to be just like them. Ah, but they can't be. Because next year, the party will be even bigger. Stop it! Seriously. Stop it!! Let's just let our kids be kids and stay out of the game! Can a sister get a break?! Talk to you soon!

One Mole

So, did you know that 1 mole = 6.02x10e-24 of any atom? I do. You should come take chemistry with me. That is very useful information!

Help! I'm becomming a geek...

I don't have time to write more now...I just wanted to expand your mind a little (as mine shrinks), and touch base.

Talk to you soon!

Let's Go! Let's Go! Delta Gamma Rho!

So, I've been chosen as a sponsor for a social club on Harding's campus called Delta Gamma Rho. The social clubs at Harding work much like the national fraternities/sororities, but ours are only found at Harding. When I was a student (um, the first time) at Harding, I pledged Delta Gamma Rho, so it is a particular honor to be able to now be a sponsor for them. A what? Sponsoring rocks! You should all try it!! Basically, I get to do everything that the club members do...but for free! For instance...their first function is in a couple of weeks at the Little Rock Zoo. Kenny and I will attend. The club will pay for our admission to the zoo, an event t-shirt for me, our babysitting costs, and they will even reimburse us for the cost of gas. (Little Rock is about an hour away.) Great deal!! It's interesting being back in the club as a sponsor...in some ways I still feel that I'm the same age as the college kids. But cognitively, I know that I am not. THEY know that I'm not too! For instance, I still have my DGR jersey from college. At Harding, Friday's are jersey days. I decided that since I am a student again and have several classes with DGR girls, it would be a good idea to show my DGR pride by wearing my jersey. It doesn't even look the same as theirs anymore! The design and fabric are the same, but when I was in school, we cut off the bottom of the jersey and wore a shirt underneath. We cut the ends of the sleeves off too! Now, nobody cuts anything off their jerseys. So, I'm totally OLD school. But, you know what, I don't care! I'm proud to be a sponsor of the best social club ever. I'm excited to have a chance to influence these young minds the way our sponsors influenced me! And I'm excited to be back in the Delta Gamma Rho circle. It is so special to me. Talk to you soon!

An Old Lady

So, I'm now two weeks into the school year...only this year I'm IN school myself! Gulp! My first class of the day is Chemistry 114 (I think it's pretty much an intro to Chemistry course), and it's full of not-so-bright-eyed-and-bushy-tailed freshmen who probably see no reason to get up and have class before 10:00 chapel. Things were going along just swimmingly until a specific conversation I had with Kenny's cousin, Deb. Deb related to me a conversation she had had with her Freshman daughter and said Freshman daughter's Freshman friend. I, in turn, will relate it to you:

Deb: "So, said Freshman daughter's Freshman friend, how are your classes going?"
SFDFF: "They're going well, Mrs. Deb, thanks. Chemistry's pretty hard though." (Small talk added by me for flow.)
Deb: "What's Chemistry class like?"
SFDFF: "Well, it's hard work, but it's going fine. But for some reason we have this really old
lady in our class."
Deb: "That's funny, our cousin is taking that class, I think..."

This parlay went forward long enough for Deb to ascertain that SFDFF was, in fact, talking about ME!! I'm the 'really old lady'!! What?! I'm sorry...when did 30 become 'really old'? Seriously?! I recognize that I do not look like a freshmen. I also recognize that I probably don't look like a typical college student. HOWEVER, I do not recognize that any aspect of my physique, such as it is, could possible qualify me for the title "Really Old Lady." Come on! I'm going to propose that a new, um, maxim, if you will, be put into place, clearly stating that a person does not qualify as "Really Old" until they triple, nay, quadruple your own current age. For instance, to a six year old, a 24 year old is probably really old. To a 15 year old, I can see a 60 year old being really old. But to a 19 year old, 30 is NOT really old! More like 80! Right? Help a sister out! And to me, who is now 30, I guess that would mean that a 120 year old is Really Old. And I think that we can all agree that a 120 year old, is, in fact, Really Old. Past that, and you're just grateful to be dead...

Tammy

I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long. Our family's been through a lot lately, and sometimes when things are tough it's hard to know what to write. But I'm back now, so you can all breathe a collective sigh of relief. Wait, what's that sound....oh, the collective sigh of relief. Good. Moving on.

My sister Tammy died two Thursdays ago, and the funeral was last Tuesday. That sentence seems so strange to me to be writing. She was only 28 years old, but in truth her body was much older. We're not really sure what happened to her...it will take 5 more weeks to get the autopsy back, which I find curious because the autopsy was performed in a day. It's not like they, you know, perform an autopsy for 6 weeks or anything. At any rate, we don't know what happened. Strangely, that's really okay with me. Maybe I just don't need to know in order to have closure. My parents don't feel that way, I think. They need to know. But for me, it makes no difference. This is not how I thought I would feel.

So, yesterday in church we were talking about lamenting. There are lots of examples in the Bible of lamenting. There is even a specific form for lamenting. We had a great discussion on lamenting. But here's the thing: I'm tired of lamenting. We had 2-weeks in the church service on lamenting. Then, Tammy died. The next week was her funeral. Then, we studied lamenting in our Sunday school class. I just want to be happy for a while, people!! Seriously!!

Also, I'm finding that there is a distinction between public and private lamenting that not many people talk about. When Tammy died, my good friend Mary Alice rushed right over. She helped feed my kids supper, and gave me hugs and heard me out as I spilled my heart. I was able to lament to her and get a lot of stuff off my chest. But when I was at the funeral service, there were a lot of people there, most of them christians. According to what we learned in church, that was a time for lament. But I found myself just wanting to run away. To be in my cave. I wanted all those people to just leave me alone, even though I've known most of them for years and years. It was such a relief to get in the car and drive back to Searcy!

There was a girl at church who had this wonderful insight. She came up and said, "I'm just going to give you a hug." This may sound strange, but I so appreciated the gesture. Most people had a lot of questions about what had happened. If they weren't asking about what happened, they were asking if I was okay. This one lady had the foresight to just offer comfort without asking anything of me. I'm going to remember to to do that from now on. She was a safe place for me. Thanks, Jenn.

I don't mean to say that I don't cherish all the cards and people who showed they care so much. Quite the contrary. This has been a very affirming experience for us with Downtown, our church home. I have never felt more a part of a church family! I'm simply pointing out that it is good to lament, but I don't believe that it MUST be done in public. Sometimes that's an 'inner circle' type of activity. Or even an 'all by myself' activity. That's okay too.

Okay, I promise a happier post next time...it'll be soon!